Love is boring. Love is not that dramatic image of fireworks and sparks. It’s not that moment when you feel flushed and your heart rate increases – unless of course you are a Broncos supporter. It’s not about the magic of that moment when everything goes “bang” and all things are wonderful forever.
Sitting with a client during a succession planning conversation, our discussion went to the state of the business. He admitted to me that it was “tough” – prices, labour, client demands, challenging weather conditions and he admitted to thoughts that was underpinning his confidence, drive and purpose.
This person is like so many people that I work with – ambitious, talented, committed, highly competent – an all-round nice person.
But, also like so many other people I work with, he had made a fatal mistake – he had fallen out of love with himself and his world. Because he had lost this love, it was affecting his self-image, motivation, energy, relationships and life. His solution to this, again like so many people I work with, was to put his head down and work harder. And the result is where he is now – running on empty.
The process in life is a bore. Life can be boring. Turning up every day, doing the do, doing what you have to do – day after day, after week, after month, after year. Life can get repetitive. It can wear you down! Life can actually stop you from living!
So, invigorate it. Renew the passion. Make this passion fierce.
My favourite author Barbara Frederickson refers to the need for “micro moments” in our life. Those moments that after many years they have occurred, are a pleasant happy memory. They are those moments that we will always remember way into the future and when we reflect on these micro moments, they bring a smile to your dial , our hearts experience joy and provides us the reason and purpose to go on.
What I have learnt though, is that while these micro moments can just occur, you need to be looking for them. But, you can also create them.
Right now, stop reading this article, and look around you. What do you see? Is there anything that is in your view now that brings you joy? Is it children being children? Is it a father holding his young child who is just learning to walk? Is it a beautifully planned garden? A glorious sunrise or sunset? Is there something that says to you, “this is why I do what I do!”
If there is nothing that you see right now, create it! Go for a walk, plan a conversation with a special person, be present where you are now. Do something that you will reflect on in many years and with joy.
That micro moment and its memory will be the fuel to keep you going.
You need to put yourself out there to give life the chance to renew yourself! You need to create those micro moments to generate that fuel!
So, what are your micro moments. What are the components that will create the moment? Travel, friends, children? They are all within your control and power to create the moments.
Find the moments, live them fiercely and fall in love again.