“Lose weight, join a gym, get a new job, spend more time with the children…”
How many of these sounds familiar? It’s that great time of year where we all look forward to the coming year and set resolutions for ourselves. Yet, like gym memberships, I wonder how many are actually used or achieved. In fact, setting resolutions is not something I personally do or naturally encourage other people to do.
When I am asked for advice on setting resolutions, my response is to “Release your Anchor!”. I know many people look ahead optimistically while never actually understanding where they are now. What are the anchors in your life that are holding you back? What are those things in your life that somehow shaped those very things you want to seek resolutions for?
Are you courageous enough to acknowledge them and dump them? If not, then those anchors will hinder your ability to achieve any goal you set for yourself.
What’s holding you back? What’s weighing you down – hindering your ability to move on? They may be past regrets, shame about actions, previous humiliations, poor choices, unfulfilled dreams, fearful events. You need to be honest with yourself, vulnerable to the truth and open to change.
I urge everyone that I work with, and now you, to assess how you think and indeed if need be, to change how you think. What is your thinking style? Is it allowing you to open your heart to possibilities or is your thinking style covering your heart with concrete – closing you in?
Be mindful of how you think as these thoughts become your action and behaviours which in turn determine your destiny. So, commit to examining your thinking style. If it helps, take time out to sit quietly and listen to yourself think. Without censoring your thoughts, write them down. Let your thoughts run free and just note down what they are saying. Then ask “Why” – why are these thoughts in your head? What are they saying? Are they pointing to something you need to let go of? Are they indicating something about your own beliefs that will hinder you achieving your dreams and goals?
You may need to reframe these beliefs by asking my favourite question – “Says Who?” If the answer is “me” – good! Of course, challenge them first and make sure they do serve you but if those beliefs truly reflect who you are – keep them.
On the flip side, are your thoughts what you truly believe or are you trying to keep someone else happy or as a dear friend of mind would say “keep the peace”? If the answer is “I don’t know where these beliefs come from” or “my partner’s” or “my friends”, then change them. Unfortunately, the price of that “peace” is your wellbeing and happiness.
The best resolution you can set for yourself is to live life on your own terms – without the anchors.
For those people who would say, “but I am still so embarrassed ” or “what will people think?” my response to that is – get over yourself!!
So release the anchors, set sail and who knows where your ship will take you in your life! d