Whiskey is not my preferred drink – until recently, when I found it perfectly paired with reflection.

As part of coaching a young couple, we had reached a massive decision point– it was one of those sliding door moments. They could take the hard route with greater reward or continue their current safer direction – but with lesser returns. They chose the more challenging direction.

“Are you sure?” I asked. They were committing themselves to at least 5 years of complex and challenging work with little rewards – but the rewards would come,  assuming all turned out right!!

They both took some time out of the process, including a little time away from each other, before returning with the same decision – to go for it!

“Are you sure?” I asked again. Both replied that they had never been surer of anything in their lives. They said they were at peace with their decision. And you know what? They truly looked at peace.

Who has ever been there? Wrestling over a critical decision?  

To be followed by arriving at a place of being at peace with the decision. Feeling entirely peaceful with all the benefits of better sleep, a clearer mind, better decision making, and just being happier in your world?

So, I wonder, is this the secret to life? To have a peaceful soul? And if it is so, how do you get one?

I think getting to that place off having a peaceful soul involves nurturing a sense of tranquillity and contentment that transcends external circumstances. It is a journey of self-discovery, self-care, and personal growth.

A number of strategies I would offer:  

1. Know yourself – what’s important to you? what are your values, beliefs and objectives? What do you stand for? Or in modern day language, what’s your brand? What do you want to be known for? Once this clarity is achieved, how authentic are you in behaving against this framework? As always, it’s all about knowing yourself and being authentic.
2. Develop strong decision-making strategies. How do you make decisions? Do you have a rigorous strategy that includes options, risks, and risk mitigation strategies? You must have confidence in the way you make decisions. This doesn’t mean always being totally rational – allow for emotions and intuition – the gut feel component but have a balanced approach.
3. Embrace Mindfulness. One of the fundamental pillars of developing a peaceful soul is embracing mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the current moment, without judgment or attachment. By cultivating mindfulness through meditation, breathing exercises, or simply paying attention to the sensations of everyday activities, you can enhance your awareness and bring a sense of calm to your mind. Mindfulness allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them, leading to greater clarity, inner peace, and reduced stress.
4. Practice Gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful practice that shifts our focus from what is lacking in our lives to what we have to be thankful for. By consciously cultivating gratitude, we train ourselves to recognize and appreciate the abundance and beauty that surrounds us. Take time each day to reflect on and express gratitude for the simple joys, relationships, opportunities, and even challenges that have contributed to your growth. Gratitude fosters contentment and helps us find peace in the present moment.
5. Let Go of Attachments: Attachments to material possessions, expectations, or outcomes often lead to disappointment and unrest. Learning to let go and detach from outcomes beyond our control is crucial for developing a peaceful soul. Practice accepting things as they are, relinquishing the need for control, and releasing expectations. By embracing the concept of impermanence and recognizing that change is inevitable, you can free yourself from unnecessary suffering and find serenity in the flow of life.
6. Nurture Forgiveness. Holding onto grudges or resentment only weighs us down and prevents us from experiencing true peace. Forgiveness, both towards ourselves and others, is a transformative practice. It involves letting go of past hurts and choosing compassion over anger. By cultivating forgiveness, we release the burden of negative emotions and create space for healing and growth. Forgiveness is an act of self-liberation and an essential step towards developing a peaceful soul.
7. Look after yourself. Self-care is a vital aspect of developing a peaceful soul. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being allows you to show up fully in your life. Engage in activities that nurture and rejuvenate you, such as exercise, spending time in nature, practicing hobbies, or seeking support from loved ones. Prioritise self-reflection, set healthy boundaries, and honour your needs. By honouring yourself through self-care, you create an inner sanctuary of peace and resilience. Surround yourself with good people.
8. Foster Compassion and Kindness. Compassion and kindness are at the heart of a peaceful soul. Cultivate compassion towards yourself and others by practicing empathy, understanding, and non-judgment. Treat yourself with self-compassion, embracing your imperfections and offering kindness in times of difficulty. Extend this compassion to those around you, practicing acts of kindness and service. By fostering compassion and kindness, you create a ripple effect of peace and contribute to a harmonious world.
9. Keep things simple. You know the old saying, Keep it Simple Simon! The KISS principle is so important for a peaceful heart and mind. Learn to declutter at all levels; physical, emotional, friendship circles etc.
10. Play the long game and own the risks. Every decision we make has a risk. We are not going to right all the time, every decision we make is not going to pay the rewards we are expecting. That’s ok – play the long game, keep looking up and out and don’t lose your focus. Believe in and follow the process.

I both hope, and fully expect, that the decision my clients have made will pay dividends. I am sure, as they are, that there will be hard and difficult moments along their journey. But the peace they feel in making this decision will be the fuel that will keep them optimistic, focused, happy and together.

Peace on us all! And pour me another whiskey.