What is stopping them from being decisive on something they know they have, and surely must want, to make?
Fear of failure, embarrassment, not being good enough, the imposter syndrome – it goes on.
The emotion of fear is perceived to be a negative thing. But does it have to be this way?
Napoleon Hill talks about our six basic fears – poverty, criticism, ill-health, loss of love, old age, and death. But aren’t these just a natural part of life?
If so, then surely this fear is overrated. Fear may be a reaction to wanting a perfect life – but all of us recognise that sometimes, our life will not be perfect.
Nowadays, we hear the expression of FOMO – fear of missing out! Even that phrase creates negative connotations.
How do we transform fear from a negative to a positive motivator?
First thing is to remember – the other side of fear is being fearless.
I have been guiding many of my clients through the use and nature of fear and the concept of “filial fear” – often referred to as the ‘good fear’.
Whilst it has religious origins, this concept can be used in positive ways today.
Filial fear draws from the Latin concept from which we broadly get the idea of family. In its proper use, it refers to the fear a child has for their parent.
Or, it may be a fear that comes from the tremendous respect and love the child has for their parent and the desire of not wanting to disappoint or not wanting to miss out on all that love and respect – a kind of FOMO.
What’s your attitude to fear and how do you use it? It comes down to how we see the world and our expectations of it.
If we expect to be linear i.e., to be born, raised in a loving family, go to school, get your ultimate career, get married, buy a house, travel, have kids, retire, and then die – fear may be a real thing if that linearity is not achieved.
But what happens when our lives aren’t linear (which they generally are not)! That old expression “God draws straight with crooked lines“ rings true.
Maybe, if we take a more flexible view of life then the fears that we have of the negative things that may happen can be replaced with the fears of not achieving the positive outcomes that should happen if we take those leaps in life.
Fear has the power to motivate or demotivate.
I have fears. But I also have power!
My fears are about not achieving my potential or my purpose – not giving it a “red hot crack”.
You hear me talk a lot about the value of purpose because in my world and in my experience, purpose gives you direction which gives you the energy that fuels productivity and focus, resulting in fulfilment and joy.
My fear is not making use of this purpose and its benefits – that’s my FOMO! Fear of missing out on the reason I am on this earth!
My FOMO fuels my energies, passions, thoughts and personal management towards the achievement of that purpose.
So, what is your positive FOMO? What is that one thing that you really fear of missing out on – a fulfilling career, family, travel, financial security, loving welcoming community?
If you can identify what that is, all the sum of your fears will come together and focus your energies to a positive spirit.
Suddenly, everything you have been worrying about will not have much importance because it is not part of your FOMO. All those things that have been distracting your energy and efforts suddenly won’t event rate.
Understand your FOMO. It will be one of the most powerful and liberating activities you will ever embrace.
Find your fear, face your fear, use your fear, celebrate your fear.